It's All in the Mind
by SonOfABiscuitEatingBullDog
Summary: One pill changes a lot. It makes an enemy disappear. With one pill, Zim is gone. Without it, Zim is there. Which one is reality? And along with that, which one does Dib want to live with?
1. Chapter 1

Dib took the medication out of Professor Membrane's hands, sighing. If this would make his dad happy, and maybe just a little more accepting of Dib's "insanity", he'd take it. It probably wouldn't do anything, anyway. Even Dib knew that people could take sugar pills, and the person would have symptoms as though they'd taken a pill they thought they had taken. It's all in the mind. So, with that in mind, he'd just convince himself nothing would happen. And nothing would.

Dr. Membrane had already busied himself with something else, a book entitled "How to Make Your Child Not Insane No More For Dummies". Dib went to the kitchen and grabbed a stool from beneath the kitchen sink. He hopped on it and reached for a glass. He grabbed one and came back down, putting the stool away. He turned on the sink, and filled up a glass with the water.

He put the white pill on the back of his tongue and thought again how this would not effect him. There was nothing to be cured, in the first place, anyway! He shrugged and took a long gulp of water, swallowing it. The weird feeling of it sliding down his throat was a little uncomfortable, but that was it.

Again, he shrugged and decided to go to bed. It wasn't like he had anything to do tonight, anyways. He could feel Dr. Membrane staring at him in the corner of his eye, as if the insanity would spring out of him like a demon in an exorcism.

As we went to his room, he could hear Gaz playing her game in her room. At least _she_ had something to do tonight. Whatever, he thought - he had some stuff on Zim he could convince this kid tomorrow. He thought he was a near a breaking point. The kid had finally agreed that there was SOME, if any, possibility Zim was unnatural. It was the fact Zim had no ears that finally got him.

Dib just knew tomorrow would be better.

He could feel it.

After changing into pajamas, getting into bed, taking off his glasses, and finally pulling up his covers to his neck, he thought about how this was the end. The end of being unsuccessful with this stupid Zim thing.

Now, if only he knew exactly what it was the end of.

There would be a lot more ending than Dib really thought.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to Sikana83 for betaing. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Dib walked to school, and decided to stop by Zim's house to tell the alien he was going to win this time. Although Zim would put up a fight, it'd probably be more amusing seeing him being dragged off kicking and screaming. He made sure to make copies of copies of his best evidence, just in case Zim wanted to take it all away and destroy it.

When he hit Zim's street, he stopped dead in his tracks, however. All cockiness left him, and he stared at where Zim's house _had_ been.

He couldn't believe his eyes, and the backpack straps started to fall off his shoulders. His shoulders had slumped at the shock. But...

This couldn't be right. Had he taken the wrong street? He glanced at the street corners to make sure he hadn't taken a wrong way, somehow...But he had been to Zim's house hundreds of times...Thousands of times. This definitely could not be right.

Pulling up his straps and lifting up his head, he decided to venture closer the house. Certainly it was some kind of trick, some sick twisted trap Zim had set up...

No way had Zim _left. _

"There's nowhere to go for Zim!" he said, aloud to himself. Speaking to himself again. Guess the pill hadn't worked. Heh, he knew it. Okay, so that was still the same...

Was there really nowhere to go? Had his leaders taken him back? Did Zim move somewhere else? Maybe there _was_ somewhere for Zim to go.

"Zim's so stupid, his leaders wouldn't even want him back. But this is strange. Very, very strange..."

As he got closer to Zim's house, he realized this was definitely a high-tech hologram. A breeze was coming in, and the dirt on the lot seemed to even stir. Everything in it was empty. Not even one trace someone had lived there. The fence, the weird robotic tentacles... All gone. It was like they had never been there in the first place.

He wasn't willing to believe this. He slowly reached an arm out, trying to find the house. He would touch the house. Holograms just covered something up, not actually changed the object or person.

"It has to be somewhere around here." When hands reached nothing, he stood and just stared.

Then he placed a foot on the ground cautiously. Then another one. He took a step forward.

Still nothing.

"F-funny joke, Zim. Ha, ha, ha." This was no hologram…

Perhaps he was dreaming. Or while he was sleeping, maybe Zim slipped on virtual goggles of some kind on his eyes. Yeah. He didn't know what to do after that, so he just stood there for a couple of minutes, deciding what to do. After a couple minutes of staring at nothing, he jumped, startled, and looked at his watch. He had just enough time to get to school.

_Maybe someone knows something about this... _Dib thought. Certainly Zim would somebody he's leaving? He told the _world _everything, shouting and screaming.

"What if he never comes back?" He discovered he was thinking out loud, again. People gave him weird looks but he ignored them.

He shook his head, ranting and gesturing and weighing the possibilities...Out loud.

There's a reason for everything. And even IF Zim had really left, not like it really mattered...Sure, everybody would never know the truth. But, what was the point if the truth wasn't **there** anymore? This was good. _Really_ good.

"Oh, man, this is awesome! No more worries what Zim'll be scheming! No more _Zim_! No more worries for EARTH!" However, he couldn't help feeling like something huge was missing.

"You know what's huge? Your head. And your insanity," one rude person said as Dib walked past him. The group around the person giggled as if this was the funniest joke in the world. Dib paid no attention to them. Guess he had said that last part out loud, too.

He did stay silent after that, though.

When he hit the schoolyard with all the children playing and laughing outside, he knew he wasn't late. Good. He set his backpack down quickly and yanked out all the evidence. He had some time to still con— ...wait... Never mind. He stood there for a couple seconds without doing anything before putting it back into his backpack.

Alright, change of schedule...

He decided to find Gaz. She'd be someone to keep the loneliness away...And the empty space that made him such a freak at school. He wanted to talk to her about how Zim was mysteriously gone, too.

He spotted her on the steps with her Gameslave and walked towards her. She didn't look up or anything, but that was expected. He sat down next to her.

"Zim is gone. His house — it's just gone, Gaz. It's so weird."

"...Oh, finally? I thought you'd take years to lose your imaginary friend." Gaz actually opened one eyelid and looked at him. Dib stared at her.

"'Imaginary friend'? Gaz, what are you—"

"Listen, I thought you'd gotten over him. So let's just forget about him, _okay_?" Dib shut up, knowing if he made his sister anymore mad, she'd probably attack him. Plus, the confusion made him stop and think for a second.

Zim's house was gone, and Gaz was telling him about his _imaginary_ friend? What was going on?

"No."

It couldn't be. Zim wasn't imaginary, he'd seen him with his very own eyes! They'd fought together! What about all the times Dib had come home with injuries from it?

Wait a second...

The pill.

"_No," _he moaned. He grabbed his stomach as though he was going to be sick.

The _pills._

They had caused this. Zim was gone because of them. Zim was...

"NO! I'M NOT INSANE! Zim...Zim is..." And then he really did feel like he _was_ going to get sick.

Gaz growled and scooted away from him. "Go have your mental breakdown somewhere else."

Zim wasn't real.

He never had been.


	3. Chapter 3

Dib sat on the steps long after Gaz left. He was staring straight in front of him, seeing nothing. He didn't even hear the bell ring. His thoughts were mixing fast, trying to decide what to do. He didn't realize how late he was really making himself. All that mattered was here, and now.

Dib really did hope this was a dream... A sort of hallucination, even. If he was lucky.

It wasn't like he really liked being around Zim...But, it seemed, he _needed_ to be around him. Even after Zim had killed him that one time, he was really his life. If he hadn't arrived, he would admit to himself on bad days, what would he really be doing at that moment? What would he have done that day, that week? That year..? He didn't really know, and after questioning it and realizing he didn't have the slightest idea, he would fall asleep.

But still...Without Zim, Dib's life was...

Something not good enough to be mentioned.

He thought of the evidence in his backpack behind him. He hadn't really looked at it today, had he? In an excited rush, he might have made copies, and even glanced at it without thinking. But he hadn't really taken the time to pay attention to it.

He pulled it out for the second time today, and looked at it. His shock seemed to grow even bigger.

Every picture, every...every folder full of evidence, every little thing...Gone. Even a broken part of GIR that he had saved. Dib bit his lip anxiously...And pulled out his camera in his many pockets of his trench coat. He turned it on, ignoring the happy little jingle it played when he did so. He went to his pictures he'd taken. One of himself studying text on the computer, one of his dad he had managed to get, and one of Gaz's boot. That one had gone off after Gaz had kicked him once, and her boot had hit a button. It had been on because he'd come home from a Zim stalking...

Then Dib hit the pictures of Zim.

Well, more like the pictures of nothing.

Each and every picture of Zim that'd once filled up the picture, there was just empty air. Just background and scenery...

Dib put his head in his arms, setting down the camera on the steps.

It's a big thing when you realize everything you know is wrong.

* * *

A/N: Short, I know, but that's all that came out today. Hope you like it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Dib had stopped taking the pills. As soon as he had come home that school day, he had flushed them down the toilet. It seemed like a good, dramatic way to get rid of them. Sadly, it reminded him of flushing his dead fish down when he was six. So he looked away.

_Wherever you are_  
_I'm waiting_

After that was done, he sat down on his bathroom floor, on the cold tile. He wrapped his arms around his knees and just stared at nothing.

_'Cause there are these nights when  
I sing myself to sleep  
And I'm hopin' my dreams  
Bring you close to me  
Are you listening?  
_

After a couple of seconds, he glanced upwards. The empy pill bottle was sitting on his bathroom counter. He blinked. He wanted to know when they would stop working...Maybe if he knew how often he had to take them, he would have an estimate of when they would stop working.

_Hear me  
I'm cryin' out  
I'm ready now_

He sat up slowly and grabbed them, squinting hard at the writing on the sticker as if it would jump right off of it.

_Turn my world upside down  
Find me  
I'm lost inside the crowd  
It's getting loud  
I need you to see  
I'm screaming for you to please  
Hear me  
Hear me  
_

"'Take one by mouth every twelve to fourteen hours,'" he read aloud. For some reason he started giggling at the 'by mouth' part. He put a hand over his mouth for a second before his giggles subsided. It had a little bit of a hysterical tone to it. Where else would you take the pills? Your foot?

Dib threw away the pill bottle and stood up. He had taken the pill right before he went to bed last night. That had been roughly at 9 PM. Right now it was 5 PM. It had been...way more than fourteen hours. Dib's hand slapped on the counter. Something was wrong...

Zim should be back now.

_Can you hear me?  
Hear me_

Dib rushed out of the room. He wasn't in a hurry for anything, but it seemed he just needed to get out. If the medication had stopped working, Zim should have reappeared. Maybe they were more powerful than they seemed...Or, maybe he took too many? No, no...He knew how much he took.

He knew where he was going now. To Zim's house.

Again.

This time he would be here...

A nagging thought was in the back of his mind, however. The pills took care of Zim...Meaning the Zim that Dib would see would be fake.

His heart skipped a beat, but he still ran out the door, accidentally slamming it. His trench coat flapped behind him as he ran. He passed people who looked at him weird, as though there was some sort of fire or emergency, but there really wasn't.

_I used to be scared of  
Letting someone in  
But it gets so lonely  
Being on my own  
No one to talk to  
And no one to hold me  
I'm not always strong  
Oh, I need you here  
Are you listening?_

_Hear me  
I'm cryin' out  
I'm ready now  
Turn my world upside down  
Find me  
I'm lost inside the crowd  
It's getting loud  
I need you to see  
I'm screaming for you to please  
Hear me_

_He'll be there, he'll be there,_ Dib thought.

Most definitely...Right?

Right. There was no questioning...Then why did Dib feel like he was running towards nothing?

Dib suddenly tripped over a rock on the sidewalk and fell. He put his hands out in front of him instinctively. His hands got scraped but he could barely feel the pain. One knee of his pants ripped. One person not knowing him as the city freak asked him if he was alright. He just pushed past them.

_I'm restless and wild  
I fall, but I try  
I need someone to understand  
Can you hear me?_

_I'm lost in my thoughts  
And baby I've fought  
For all that I've got  
Can you hear me?_

_Hear me  
I'm cryin' out  
I'm ready now  
Turn my world upside down  
Find me  
I'm lost inside the crowd  
It's getting loud  
I need you to see  
I'm screaming for you to please  
Hear me  
Hear me_

He turned a couple corners, and then he saw the sidewalk he had even walked down today... His stomach clenched painfully as doubt clouded him. Unknowingly to him, blood dripped from his hands onto the sidewalk every couple of steps. He had come down hard.

_Hear me  
Hear me  
Can you hear me?  
Hear me  
Hear me  
Hear me_

And then, he was there. Dib panted hard. His heart was going a mile a minute, and his lungs felt like they were going to collapse. But he just had to see. For himself. For his sanity, at least.

He looked up and...He gasped...hard.

"Oh, man," was all he was able to mumble out, staring at what was in front of him.

_Can you hear me?  
Oh, oh, oh, oh...  
Hear me  
Hear me  
Hear me_

* * *

A/N: I bet you just love me for that cliff hanger, eh? Heh, heh, heh. All well. You'll survive.. Hopefully. xD You have to read the next chapter, don't you? I love how you can't tell if he said "oh man" like "no effing way"(in a good way) or "oh man" like "crapshitohffffff..."(in an obvious bad way) 

The song is Hear me by Kelly Clarkson in this chappy. I don't own it. I didn't even know this song applied until I was listening to it while writing it and...bam, here it is. This is my first song fic/chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Dib stared ahead at Zim's house. His breathing had turned shallow, yet more in joy than any other emotion. He was here! He was back! It was as if he had just been on vacation, and hadn't disappeared. It was like he actually had been there all along. Dib rushed over, almost tripping since he wasn't watching where he was going. He was jaywalking, but he didn't care. There were no cars passing by at that moment.

When he reached Zim's house he was unsure of what to do. Knock? Ring the doorbell? He chose pounding on the door and grinning like a maniac. He still carried his camera around in his trench coat, and just for old times' sake he dug around in it and grabbed it. He held it so he would be able to get a clear photo of Zim as soon as he opened the door. When the door opened, he pressed the button and the flash went off, blinding Zim.

Zim grimaced and rubbed his eyes, before blinking a couple times and spotting Dib.

"Dib-thing!" He pointed at Dib, now angry. "What are you doing at my base? Come to foil me? HA! NEVERRR! Gimme that camera!" He grabbed it and slammed it to the ground, but luckily the protective case Dib had gotten for it protected it. Annoyed, Zim began to stomp on it, trying to break it. No such luck for him.

"Zim!" Dib exclaimed. "You were gone! I'm glad your back! Well...you know...I just wasn't ready to give up trying to save the world from your plans. So it's good you're ba-"

"'Back'?" Zim said slowly. "Zim was never gone," he said slowly, as if describing it to somebody mentally incompetent.

"Haha, sure you weren't..." But Dib's grin faltered and didn't reappear.

"However," Zim said, "I did notice that you were ignoring me. Now tell me, Dib-worm...What is your plan?! Ignoring Zim will get you nothing! NOTHING!" Zim poked Dib after this. "Your plan stinks," he added. "But I have seen that you have give it up. Good. Now leave me, Dib-pig, I have much to do...Muchhh...Hehe..."

Dib rubbed the spot where Zim had poked him and stared at Zim for a second.

"Alright, well...See ya..." Zim slammed the door on Dib's face.

The neighbors watched on, concerned about the boy who always went to the empty lot and seemed to talk to no one.

* * *

"Gaz! Gaz!" Dib slammed the door at his house, and continued shouting. 

"What?" Gaz growled, sitting on the couch, so intently focusing on the game in her hands you would think she wouldn't be able to answer.

"He's back! He's still rude and everything, too! It's great!" Dib happily sat down on the couch next to her. He sighed happily. Gaz glared at him, not really interested in what he was talking about.

"Who's back?" she asked slowly.

"Zim, of course."

"...He left?"

Dib's heart seemed to stop at that moment, and what seemed like ice started pumping in his veins. But...Gaz had said...that...

"Gaz, don't be silly, you said that it was great my 'imaginary friend' disappeared."

"Dib, stop being insane and leave me alone. I never said that." With each word, it felt like a heavier and heavier weight was being pressed on him.

Dib opened his mouth to say something, probably something contradicting.

"Just go away," she groaned. "Why would I say he's imaginary? I see him too, you know. And that would be calling ME insane. Are you dare suggesting...?" She trailed off, with warning in her voice.

"...No..." He felt defeated; broken down even. He quietly went to his room, his head down. Although he looked depressed, he was actually thinking of what he should do.

"Now it's time to decide which one is real," he told himself, and added silently: _And which one is better._

He opened the door to his room and realized that all the pictures he had looked at with Zim and GIR that weren't in them...would now have them in them. However, he didn't pull out his camera. Instead, he just went to his bed and flopped down on it, spread-eagle.

"On one hand," he considered, "the earth is safe...Well, that sort of depends on if it's real or not. The pills COULD be making Zim disappear, while he's still actually there. Maybe I'm not insane...But...On the other hand...Why would they _only_ take Zim away? Other than the fact that he's an alien and that's hard for SOME people to realize..."

Dib stared at his ceiling for a second, then continued. "But...I'm in the Swollen Eyeball Network. Zim's my best case so far! Everyone already thinks I'm insane anyways, so either way, whatever I do, I'll still be insane. At least to other people..." A little discouragement hit him, but he still considered the two options.

"I think that Zim really is imaginary though." There. He had said it out loud. It seemed to echo weirdly, haunting him. At least it was out there, and he was confirming it. He knew this was true. Still...It was scary to think that someone you knew wasn't real.

"The logical choice would be to take the pills," he sighed. "Dad gave them to me for a reason, I guess..."

It's just so _hard_ being different.

"But if I let Zim still...exist...I'm living...Well...a lie, aren't I?"

Dib grabbed a pillow and smothered his face in it, thinking. "I should probably just do that, I guess..." Something inside of him protested, though, and wanted a fight. Never seeing Zim again? It wouldn't have it.

"Arrghh," he groaned into the pillow. It muffled the sound well, and then after a couple of minutes, he was sound asleep.


End file.
